Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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