dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize