All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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