perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
