The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize