I just saw a hot homeless man
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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