The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
