I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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