So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
