I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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