The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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