Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
