ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
