just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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