He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
