Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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