she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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