Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize