The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
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Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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