What a fucking waste of an outfit
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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