Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize