I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Randomize
