omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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