I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had sex on a roof
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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