i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Farmville is her only friend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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