i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
