I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
