life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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