I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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