How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
