you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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