You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
