I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
