so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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