Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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