**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
