there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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