Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
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There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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