Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
