Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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