Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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