maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
