Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
