That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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