her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
