Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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