So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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