You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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