fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
