he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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