at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
