so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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