I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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