yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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