I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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